i'm getting a little flustered that i'm still STRUGGLING SO MUCH.
i haven't had an individual session since last tuesday. so over a week. and i won't have one until next wednesday.
that's a long time to go at all, and especially coming out of residential.
i purged last night because i got high for the first time in forever. got the munchies baaaad and went on a really fabulous binge that i purged as well and then felt like complete ass the rest of the night. so i guess there's some truth in that you shouldn't do drugs or drink alcohol when you're trying to recover.
am i? trying?
i'm NOT following my meal plan by any means. i'm not going out of my way to not follow it, but i haven't gone out of my way TO follow it either. and that's what i need to do. follow it. but i don't have a nutritionist appt. for a while either.
explanation: my therapist and nutritionist are hard as hell for me to get to. like, an hour walk from the train station. and it's like 7 degrees. no thank you. so i got new ones. i should have google-mapped it pre-getting back to school. but i didn't. and now i'm getting fucked over. my.bad.
trevor update: not much to report. not that there's nothing to report, but there's no progress on...the goal, per se.
will re convene after his birthday. or valentine's day. or my birthday. or... fuck. i don't know. we'll see how it plays out. i'm really attached to having someone being attached to me. it's really nice to be cared for and some might say that's me using him. and maybe it is. wahh.
transfer update: no update. i might just stay here. but who knows.
life sucks sometimes, you know?
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